Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how easy it is to demand perfection from others - even in the ways they show us love. If something is done imperfectly, I notice. This happens, in part, because my struggle with OCD can cause me to be ultra-particular. However, I also recognize that a much larger part of the problem is my love of control, my selfishness, and my failure to show grace to others.
Recognize this struggle in yourself? Here are 3 truths to remember when people love you imperfectly, and why you should accept imperfect love!
Oof. I hate this about myself. I hate this sin. It hurts to recognize this.
Do you recognize the same in yourself?
Is nothing ever good enough? Are the imperfect but loving intentions of others met with your heart of bitterness because it wasn’t perfect? Maybe you struggle to accept imperfect gestures of love because the person has hurt you in other ways, and so you criticize them for not doing things “right”, instead of being thankful that they tried to show you kindness.
Whether it’s a marriage, a friendship, or a family relationship, we need to recognize the ways in which people are trying to love us well.
Examples of how people show imperfect love:
- Maybe your husband didn’t remember your favorite dessert, or maybe he even forgot that you hate cinnamon, but he cared enough to think “I want to get her dessert. She’d like that”.
- Maybe your mom should have been better at communication when you were growing up, but she always sat with you in your hard moments, even if she didn’t say the “right” things.
- Maybe all you really wanted from your dad growing up was quality time and he didn’t give you that, but you know that he worked hard because he wanted you to have a good life.
- Maybe your friend isn’t very good at communication or planning, but you absolutely know she’d be there for you if you were struggling.
There are so many examples and varying extremes of ways that people can try to show us love, but it isn’t perfect. In these moments, there are a few things we should remember.
3 Truths to Remember When People Love Us Imperfectly
- Our love is also imperfect. We have shown this type of imperfect but well-intentioned love many times. Give others grace.
- We are so blessed when we have people in our lives who make an effort for us. They want us to feel loved and cared for. Just because they show it in different or imperfect ways doesn’t change the fact that it’s a beautiful gift to be cared for.
- People can never fully satisfy us. If we are looking to others and the way they love us to satisfy our deepest longings, we will always be disappointed because humans will never be perfect.
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