Authenticity is a huge buzz word these days. And despite the fact that I believe in being authentic (I even have a post about authenticity in blogging), I have become really tired of the word.
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the fact that people want to avoid being shallow. Especially in the blogging world, where people obsession about their social media feeds and can't function when everything isn't perfect. That gets old too- trust me! But unfortunately, when people try to avoid one thing, they often end up swinging over to an opposite extreme. And authenticity is no exception.
So what does that extreme look like? It looks like people thinking that now, they need to air every bit of dirty laundry in their lives. It looks like people trying to prove that they don't have it all together. And it looks like not only admitting that they are depressed (there's nothing wrong with that), but also making sure that their posts have a depressed or whining tone to show that their lives aren't perfect.
My co-admins over at Blog Passion Project were recently talking about all this, and that's what inspired this post. I think about these two extremes frequently, but it's thanks to them that I decided to talk about what authenticity actually is. It's one thing to know what authenticity is not, but it's another thing entirely to actually know what it is.
Authenticity is Actually Being Yourself
If you feel good, shout it to the rooftops. There's no reason to feel guilty for your happiness. If something is wrong and you can't/shouldn't/don't feel like sharing, then don't. You don't owe the world every inch of your life. If something is wrong and it would benefit yourself and others for you to share, then get raw, real, and honest. People need that inspiration sometimes.Don't ever choose what you do or the way you display your life out of a need to prove to the world who you are. Just speak truth, speak it well, and speak it with grace.
Authenticity says:
"I'm sharing this to help you. I'm sharing this because it's a part of me that I cannot separate from the rest. I'm sharing pain in my life in order to challenge and inspire others- not to whine about it or seek the sympathy of others".Authenticity says:
"I'm not sharing this particular issue because it will hurt me or others in a way that is not beneficial. I am not hiding behind a facade, but rather, I am being wise in what I share".Authenticity says:
"I am sharing my happiness with others. I have no intention of making them feel worse about themselves. I don't want them to compare their lives to mine. I simply love this photo of myself. I love this aspect of my life. And I want to encourage others to be happy too".Authenticity is the exact opposite of trying to prove yourself to others. Authenticity is the opposite of seeking attention just for the sake of seeking attention. Authenticity is being wise, being kind, and using our real, actual lives to bring about good and truth in the world.
Authenticity requires wisdom, because we often need to be searching our own thoughts, hearts, and intentions to make sure that what we are about to do is genuinely authentic and helpful.
That, my friends, is authenticity.
So let's stop trying to prove to the world that we have it all together by obsessing over perfect photos and posts- that's shallow. Let's stop only showing people the good parts of our lives. And let's also stop trying to prove our humanity to the world by whining, being overly-dramatic, or complaining about every problem in our lives. We know what authenticity is, and it's time we start living by actual authenticity instead of some false version of it. Be yourself, be wise, be truthful, and be helpful.
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