How Adoption is a Blessing

If you caught Tuesday's post on the adoption process my friend, Bethany, went through as she and her husband adopted two half-sisters, then you know that this week my focus here at TPT is adoption. More specifically, my focus is on how adoption is a blessing, and how Christians should take the time to genuinely and prayerfully consider if they might be called to adopt a child.

I fully acknowledge that not everyone is called to adopt a child. But I also believe that Christians are called to take action, and that sometimes we can get so addicted to the thought of having "our own children" that we spend countless hours and piles of money trying to make that happen (even when it isn't working), when there are so many kids out there who need a home.

Now, let me be 100% clear: having biological children is a God-given blessing and an incredible gift. There is nothing wrong with having biological children.
Some Christians aren't called to adopt. Some are called to pray for those who are adopting, some are called to financially support organizations that help orphans, and some are called to bless orphans and adoptive parents in other ways. But some- I'd venture to say many- are called to adoption.

A friend shared a quote from Francis Chan with me recently that I just loved. It says:

"Sometimes people are paralyzed by fear of failure. They are so afraid that they might do the wrong thing that they do nothing. We need to learn to err on the side of action, because we tend to default to negligence… For example: Why not assume you should adopt kids unless [God tells] you not to? That seems more biblical since God has told us that true religion is to care for the widows and orphans (James 1:27)." 

That quote is so opposite to how we tend to live this life, but gosh, I think it's pretty spot-on in a lot of cases- including in adoption!

And that's why I chose to do this mini-series. I want people to see what a blessing adoption can be. I want them to see the difference adoption has made to those who have been personally involved in it.

So today, I am sharing snippets from 3 ladies who have been positively affected by adoption. They have all come from varying backgrounds, religions, and regions, but they have all been positively impacted by the blessing of adoption. Here are their stories.

A Conscious & Brave Decision: Evi Figgat

"Adoption has given me a beautiful life. I can definitely say that. My parents were told they’d never have biological children of their own. My mom miscarried a child well into her second trimester. They prayed and knew that they needed to adopt. I’m so grateful that they made that decision.

My birthmother was in her very early twenties. She had big dreams for the both of us. My birthfather was a drug addict. She wanted me to grow up with both parents and a stay-at-home mother. She found herself flipping through binders of hopeful adoptive parents when she found my hopeful adoptive parents. She paused. She prayed. She knew.

The day she knew was the day she had me: December 20, 1990. My parents had very little notice, but were elated. Two days later I was brought to their door, swaddled in a christmas stocking. I grew up being told that I was their greatest Christmas present.

My parents’ love for me has never ceased nor dwindled. In the adoption community, we don’t say that birthmothers “gave up” their child. My birthmother made a very conscious decision and was sure that I needed to be with a different family. She was brave. Now that I’m a mother myself, I cannot imagine her pain and angst. I yearn for the day that I can hug and cry with her. I hope her life has been as beautiful as mine."

You can read Evi's post on Adoption Statistics here.

A Semi-Open Adoption: Felicia Berger

"I sometimes think about how much different my life would have been if my biological mother would have kept me. She was 18 or 19 when she got pregnant and in order to finish her schooling, her parents made her give me up for adoption. I found letters she wrote while she was still pregnant saying she knew it was best for my well-being to give me up as she couldn’t have supported me at that time in her life. My biological father offered to marry her when she told him she was pregnant but she declined. My biological father chose not to have anything to do with the adoption process aside from signing over his rights (and then proceeded to get another girl pregnant about two months later!). But honestly, I’m so relived that I was not raised by them.

The adoption was open to a degree, meaning I’ve never personally met my biological mother, but she sends me birthday and Christmas gifts, and we are friends on Facebook. I grew up knowing my mom was not my biological mother - and this was probably because my sister, who was also adopted, is from Nepal and very clearly looks different from the rest of the family, so I would have had questions eventually anyway.
It’s my choice what degree of relationship I want to have with my biological mother - I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to meet her in person, and that’s my own prerogative, as I know she wants to meet me some day.

All in all, I would not be the person I am today if I hadn’t been given up for adoption. My parents were able to give me the best quality life I could have possibly asked for. I don’t know if I could say the same if I had not been adopted, or had been adopted by anyone else. I see where my biological mom is now and can’t help but wonder if where she is at in life now would have been significantly different or worse if she had kept me. She is now married with two kids and I am Facebook friends with my biological half-sister who is now in high school. Some days it feels strange to know that these people with whom I share genetics are out there. Some days I’ll see them post pictures on Facebook at family gatherings and I can’t help but wonder where I would have fit into the picture, or what our relationships would have been like. But I also then think about how amazing my life has been with my adoptive family and realize that where I fit in best, is with them."
Check out Felicia's blog, The Starving Chef, here!

Foster Care & Adoption: Lauren Bellows 

"Adoption has blessed me in more ways than I can count. I am a mom four times through foster care, two of those through adoption. I also have two wonderful siblings through adoption.

As a Christian, I feel as though God called us to adopt, as He adopted us into the family of Christ. Growing up I saw families blessed through adoption.

While there are also parts that hurt those involved, adoption is a gift. Without it, my life would be so empty. I wouldn't be able to experience the family we have.

Adoption is a blessing because we get to extend the love of God to those who may have not experienced it in other ways. It has forced me to open my heart to grace when it comes to situations out of my control. Adoption blessed me with a release to control and leaning into Christ at the worst possible times. Adoption brought me closer to God than I think I would have been without it.

I am forever thankful for adoption and all the ways my life has been impacted by it. Having my kids has been one of the biggest and greatest blessings of my life."

Check out Lauren's newly-rebranded blog, A Renewed Motherhood, here!

I hope you were encouraged by these lovely ladies. Their stories are all different, but they were all positively affected by adoption. God has a beautiful plan for adoption, and I love hearing stories about the blessings that have come from it.

Let us all be willing to pray about how we can help orphans, and be open to however God would choose to use us in this area.