Over the past two years, I have been a bit of a broken record around here about health, fitness, and weight loss. The cycle goes a little something like this: Kristin needs to take care of her body. Kristin writes a blog post about how taking care of our bodies is about far more than just looking good. Kristin eats healthy for about six hours. Kristin sees donuts. Kristin eats five donuts. Kristin gives up and stops taking care of her body for a few more months.
This cringe-worthy cycle is a big point of stress in my life because I constantly feel pulled towards food, but also know that I need to drastically change my lifestyle if I want to live life well, succeed, and live fully as the peculiar treasure I was made to be.
And I know that. Deep down, I know that. But sometimes, we can know something and not live it out, and to me, that is the saddest scenario of all. It's one thing to not be aware of an issue- it's another thing entirely to know there's a problem, want to fix it, and yet never take the steps that are required to do so.
And that leads me to the story of my boss, and what she said that made me realize that I need to get serious.
Recently, I texted my boss and asked if there was any possibility that she could work from home that day (which her schedule allows occasionally) since I wasn't feeling good once again. I probably wasn't contagious. I was just having hot flashes, nausea/heart burn, and just generally feeling "off". Everything I did other than sitting in a chair made me feel overheated and start sweating.
My boss agreed and said that she hoped I felt better. I thanked her and apologized and she replied with, "You've got to start taking better care of yourself, girl". She wasn't mean about it. It was just a statement. But she was so, so right.
And that's when it hit me- it's so obvious to other people that I don't take care of myself, too. If nothing else, my weight tips them off, but the fact that I never really feel good is a huge factor too. And when I am constantly feeling gross, it doesn't just affect me. It affects my employers, my friends, my family, and sometimes even my relationship with God.
Being Healthy Is More Than Appearance
I've said it over and over again that even though I hate how I look, health isn't about looking good. Health and being a good steward of the body God gave me is about treating my body well. Eating healthy, nourishing foods and prioritizing exercise should not be about fitting into a smaller pair of jeans. It should be about being thankful for God's gift of life to me, the body He gave me, the job He has provided me with, and the loved ones He has gifted to me. But when I don't take care of myself, I become tired, grumpy, and sick more often than not, and in turn, I am really not living a life of thankfulness for those things. I can say I am thankful, but if I am not taking care of myself (and therefore not taking care of those other things), then I am not living out that thankfulness.Realizing that other people (besides my immediate family) notice that I don't take care of myself is a huge wake up call. I can joke about Chick-fil-A and donuts all I want to, but it doesn't change the fact that taking care of myself is something that should be a non-negotiable to me. It should be a built-in factor in my life. There's nothing wrong with eating a bowl of ice cream after dinner, or stopping at Wendy's for lunch every now and then, but when life revolves around food- especially unhealthy food- and I don't take the time to exercise, I am living an unhealthy life with no real care for my body. That needs to change.
Progress Over Perfection
The thing is, I've said "this needs to change" so many times on this blog already that I wouldn't blame you if you didn't believe me. Heck, I'm not sure if I believe me. But I am going to try my best to remember the why of this health journey, and I am going to attempt to stick with it this time. And I shared this post- despite how embarrassing it is- to encourage those of you who are stuck in a similar cycle.It's not easy breaking free. But you are not alone. Take heart and keep working at your progress!
