If you follow me on Instagram, you probably know that I finally made it to the beach! Can I get a "woot woot!"?
This trip was so needed. I appreciated the time to unwind, but I mostly just wanted to see my friends and lay on that beautiful beach all day. I wanted the salt air and sea, and I wanted to smell tanning oil and sunscreen all day. Honestly, I was desperate for water, sunshine, and some of my favorite people. Praise the Lord I got all three of those for a glorious four days!
I Usually Care
As much as I'd like to be able to say otherwise, I am a very self-conscious person. I always have been. But since I'm extremely overweight now, I also worry about being your "typical fat girl". You know the ones: they are the girls that people cringe at when they see them in a bathing suit. They are the ones that even the most good-hearted people judge and criticize. I feel like that girl fairly often, but I feel it even more at the beach.But something really awesome happened on this trip.
The first day I was there, I spent the first few hours of beach time by myself before my friend met up with me. There were fairly deep tidal pools right beside my beach chair, so I decided to get in the pools. I took selfies in the pools, floated in them, and straight-up laid down in those suckers. If I am being honest, I probably looked like a beached whale (seriously). But to my surprise, I didn't care! Sure, I was still self-conscious, and it gnawed at me a little, but not enough to make me stop.
I stayed in the tidal pools as long as I wanted and I did my own thing. I didn't care (very much) if people thought I looked silly, fat, or stupid. I was relaxing, having fun, and enjoying my vacation.
Progress
Friend, that day, I impressed myself a little. I had allowed myself not to care what others thought. Even though I was still worried and self-conscious, the fact that I pushed through and continued doing what I was doing was proof enough that I didn't really care what others thought. If I did, I would have stopped, cowered up to my chair, and tried to make myself small.In that moment, I didn't do that.
And we really don't have to do that, you know. We don't have to try to hide in order to cover up our imperfections. We are beautiful regardless of what we look like. I hate my weight and am trying to lose it, but I am still beautiful right now.
And so are you!
It's Totally Ok
Whether you are over-weight, feel like a beanpole with no curves, hate your skin, or have a high, squeaky voice, you are beautiful. You don't have to care so much what others think.It's ok to lay in a tidal pool even if you feel like a beached-whale.
It's ok to wear a dress that was made for curvy people. If you like it, wear it.
It's ok to go make-up free- even if you have bad acne.
It's ok to speak up, make conversation, and sing loud, even if your voice is higher (or lower) than most.
These things may be "imperfections", but you, wonderful lady, are beautiful. You don't have to hide away because someone might think negatively of you.
I could have missed out on a very fun piece of my beach trip. I could have decided to let what others might think affect the way I enjoyed my day. But I didn't. I had a wonderful time and I don't regret it.
And that was the time I didn't care what others thought.
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