Are You Guilty?

Do you ever feel guilty? I hope so- if you didn't then I'd be concerned about your conscience... But seriously, think for a second about the last time you felt guilty. Why did you feel that way? Was it justified, or were you beating yourself up?

Though I am pretty much a professional self-beater-upper, I also know that the Holy Spirit convicts me of sin too. And often times, I realize that the thing I am being convicted of is my attitudes and my heart. Basically I am convicted over why I do what I do. You see, it's not a sin to not clean the living room. It isn't a sin to not do the dishes right after I eat. But it is a sin to have an attitude of laziness or to not do my very best.

For example, when I am vacuuming at work, if I miss a spot, I am not sinning. But if I half-vacuum because I don't care if I do a good job or not, then yes, I am sinning. My heart in the matter is the main issue.

God has really been convicting me lately that I have only been half-doing everything. No, He doesn't want me to become legalistic about every little thing I do, and He doesn't want me to be a perfectionist- both of which I tend to get caught up in- but He does want me to be intentional about doing a good job.

When I don't live life well, I am also a bad witness. If I am living a life of laziness and apathy, I am inadvertently telling the world that that is ok- that Christians think that is ok. And it's not.

We walk such a fine line. We want to acknowledge that it's ok to relax, to have "me time" and to let go of perfectionism, and yet, we still need to live a life that is glorifying to God. And so we do one of two things: 1.) we develop a fear of failure, a self-condemning perfectionism that eats at us if we mess up one little piece of life, or, 2.) we give up on doing a good job, stop caring, and shrug off responsibility because "God doesn't want us to get carried away".

I don't know about you, but I find extremes (and the conviction that follows them) to be exhausting. I want to start learning to actually give things to God in a way that He teaches me the balance, instead of me trying to teeter on that fence by myself.

So think for a minute: what is God convicting you of? No, not "what are you beating yourself up about?". Not "what can you not accept forgiveness for?". But instead, what is God legitimately convicting you of? Have you thought about it? Good.

Now, join me in asking for His help. Join me in doing a much better job at consistently reading His word. Join me in refusing to try to find a balance on your own- because you never will.