In the Fall of 2013, my Nana- a true Proverbs 31 woman- had a terrible stroke. She couldn't talk, her entire right side was paralyzed, she couldn't eat, and she couldn't even swallow. We thought we had lost her; I have never been so scared. It was so hard to watch her struggle, in pain, and miserable.
She was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. The doctors were eventually able to remove the feeding tube, and by the grace and healing of God, Nana started to improve.
Now, several years after that stroke, Nana is doing so much better. She can walk short distances with a walker, she can eat a normal meal, she has some movement back on her right side, and she can speak, though it is still hard to understand her sometimes. I am so proud of her. She has worked so hard and as God has been healing, she has also been doing what she can to improve.
But, I realized something recently... I am very angry. Not at God. Not at Nana. Not at her circumstances (well, maybe a little)...but really, I am angry at the church she attended. Not just angry- I'm furious.
I agree with this completely! I go to a church of around 2,000 so it's on a much larger scale than your grandmother's, but even with a church of this many, I think maybe half volunteer on a semi-regular basis. It's just crazy.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it is hard.
DeleteThat is so frustrating. It's sad when the church doesn't love its members like it should :/
ReplyDeleteThat's ok. Though it is, God still uses everything for His glory :)
DeleteI'm so glad you visited my blog so I could discover yours :)
ReplyDeleteThis post is so relevant to my life and church-relationship right now. When I was growing up we had a healthy, growing, young-&-old member church, but over the years we've had incompatible pastors and petty drama that has completely driven away the younger population. I have such anger for my church right now, but I'm doing all I can to contribute (council member, sunday school teacher, etc.) and help the situation. I know my anger will get the best of me soon, though. Church no longer feels like a family =/
I have very similar frustrations with my church right now, in addition to other issues. I am angry and hurt by the decisions and attitude of the members of my church so this really resonates. I will try to forgive my church, too, but it's very difficult when it no longer feels like a family.
ReplyDeleteThat's definitely hard. I am sorry that happened to your church. I hope that you will embrace forgiveness and give it to God, regardless of if you find another church or stay there. :)
DeleteThank you so much for reading and commenting.
Church is a just a building filled with imperfect people. So so hard to remember as I also am struggling with the church as a whole and have not had the best experiences. Thank you for your heart and for writing this!
ReplyDeleteYes, that is true. People are imperfect (including you and I).
DeleteBut God still calls us to church because of the way He designed fellowship.
I would encourage you to continue seeking out a good, biblical church and embrace the model God designed. It is a challenge, but it is worth it.
Wow..what a great post! That is just terrible though. She must have felt so rejected especially when she served there over 20 years. And knowing they were taking fun trips and all and not one day even call/visit/send a card! I want to say, "how dare they did this" but I guess I have to look at my own self. I am sure there are folks I'm church who are hurting and I never reach out. But either way, church should be to encourage and help the hurting. Thanks for the reminder....so glad you and grandma were able to firgive!
ReplyDeleteZan,
DeleteThank you for your sweet comment.
Yes, it was a very rough time (and still is), but you are right. It is very humbling when we look at ourselves and realize that we have probably done the exact same thing.
As mad as I get when I think about it, I know that we are all human, all make mistakes, and (those in Christ) all have a God who forgives and calls us to do the same.
I go to a rather large church of about 500-600 people and not a single one of them has taken the time to get to know me. When I don't show up, no one calls to check in on me. This is why I sometimes miss my small Pentecostal church of my childhood.
ReplyDeleteThat is a shame :( I'm sorry.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your Nana. It is so hard to be one with the body of Christ. Sadly, I have heard stories like this many times through my time in ministry. We have all fallen short of God's glory, and we are all broken sinners. Every member of the church needs God's grace. Thanks for taking the time to be honest and forthright about your Nana's church.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this situation. Sadly I hear stories like this all the time from my husband who is a youth pastor. I'm learning that we have all fallen short of God's glory, including people at church. The only constant is God's grace and mercy. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's ok. Like you said, we are all in need of God's grace.
Delete