Who's your best friend? Do you have more than one? Are they nearby, or far away?
I have best friends scattered throughout North Carolina, plus one who's out in Tennessee. I don't get to see them often, which often results in FDS (friend-deprivation-syndrome). FDS, is a very series problem, yet is only recognized as an official disease by, well, me. ;)
When a person has FDS, there are 5 Inevitable side effects that occur.
1.) You think of all the "back whens".
I have multiple best friends, most of whom are friends from high school and college. When I start missing my girls, I start thinking of all the fun things we used to do, and I get all nostalgic and mushy for every little adventure we had. Sometimes, it's a little over-kill though..."Oh whoa! Remember that time my friend peed for like five minutes and we laughed really hard? Yeah, that was fun. We should do that again!"
2.) You find yourself secretly jealous of all their other friends.
I want my friends to thrive in life: to do well, make friends, and be happy. But let's be real for just a minute. Even though I want them to have lots of awesome friends, when I'm missing them, it's really easy to get jealous of their adventures with other friends. I'm not condoning those feelings, but I think they are very real, especially for those of us whose friends live elsewhere!But it's important to remember that our friends need us to be real friends- to cheer them on, not get jealous when they aren't with us. What are we, in middle school? Geesh.
3.) You scheme and try to find a way to see them. NOW.
When I miss my girls, it doesn't matter how broke I am, I will immediately start thinking of all possible ways I could go see them. Maybe I could sell an organ or two for gas money? That's logical, right?Carving out time to see each other is important, and I am a firm believer in making time, but sometimes we have to be patient and carefully plan. We don't always have the luxury of making everything happen at once.
It took me almost a year to get to see one of my girls, and I finally saw her three weeks ago. It took longer than we wanted, but we planned, carved out time, and made it happen!
4.) You Worry That You Are Drifting Apart.
When I haven't been able to talk to my besties for a little while, I always start into a mini-panic-mode. "What if they don't like me anymore". "What if they've decided I'm super-obnoxious", or "what if they don't feel like I am worth the effort". All of these are pretty dumb. I mean, yes, people can drift apart, but the wonderful thing about a best friend is that many of them are always going to be your best friend, even if it's been a while since you last spoke. So stop worrying, and be thankful that you have friends that are there when it really counts!
5.) You Realize How Blessed You Are.
When I miss my friends, after going through the nostalgia and paranoia, I usually come to my senses, turn back into an adult, and realize how very blessed I am. I seriously have the best friends ever!When you have girlfriends that you can still laugh with, pick on, and go on adventures with after years of friendship, you have an amazing gift.
My friends are strange, quirky, and very different from one another, and yet, they are all amazing, kind, and caring women who love me and are there for me-and I'm there for them.
Not everyone is so fortunate, which makes me sad. I wish everyone had as loyal of friends as I do. And if you are like me and have amazing friends, be thankful. Let them know how much you love them, and put in the effort to stay in contact. It's so very important!
*If you are experiencing symptoms of FDS, contact your
Aww this was a good read but made me kinda sad!! (Cue the violin music.)
ReplyDeleteI miss having friends! I've been in Vienna for almost 4 years, from the PNW originally.
Aww! I'm sorry it made you sad! I get it (sort of, since I at least live in the same state as my other friends), it's so tough. I highly recommend doing all you can to keep in touch with your old friends if they were good ones!
DeleteFDS is definitely a real thing! I live 300 miles away from all my friends and it's rough. I miss them even more now that I read this.
ReplyDeleteIt really is tough! Good friends are worth the effort though.
DeleteFriends are so important. We have to be careful though...not to get hung up in the past that we don't see the possibilities of where we are now. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, you definitely have to use wisdom in knowing which friends to hold onto because they are worth the effort, and which friendships your just desperately hanging onto.
DeleteLove this!! A lot of my girlfriends live in another state so of course I miss them a lot. I do find myself also thinking oh we have drifted apart and things just aren't the same. Of course we are all busy so I have to remind myself of that. Oh and yes to the jealously when I see them doing fun things,etc.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's really hard. I guess when you all have genuinely drifted away, sometimes it's ok to let go, but if there's still a solid friendship there, I'd keep at it!
DeleteSo much truth to this! My best friends are all states away :(
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! That's so hard! Do your best to stay in contact! It's usually worth it.
DeleteThis is so accurate haha especially getting jealous of their other friends!
ReplyDeleteI know, right?! It's kind of ridiculous, but it's so true, too!
DeleteThis post made me miss my friends even more! You know you have good friends when you care enough to miss them.
ReplyDeleteGreta | www.gretahollar.com
I know! It really is a huge blessing, though it hurts sometimes!
DeleteLove my friends! Reading this made me want to call them right now lol
ReplyDeleteHaha! You should do it then! Good friends are a blessing :)
DeleteWhen I read this I was already missing my best friend. It's true sometimes I always worry we're drifting apart & we're also growing in other directions. However we do sort of pick-up where we left off.
ReplyDeleteHaving friendships where you can pick up right where you left off is an amazing blessing.
DeleteAhhh I know the feeling of missing friends!! My best friend recently moved to the other side of US and it's hard.. Knowing you won't be able to catch up every weekend talking through the night or go shopping.. But we always pick up from where we left anytime we talk :)
ReplyDeleteMonika | www.palateforstyle.com
It really is tough! But as long as we make sure we are staying in touch, it's not completely unbearable!
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